I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
