and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
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