So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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