Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize