I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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