I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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