She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
