whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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