Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
