Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
