david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
