we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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