And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
