So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Found the puke drawer
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
