man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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