All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
