Fuck appropriateness.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
