left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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