So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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