Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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