I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
