You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
