I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
