the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
