I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
