I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
