btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
