i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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