So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
