He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
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