You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
