They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
