Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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