he wants to bone in the snuggie
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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