You smell like stripper and shame
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
