it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
