Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
