Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
