omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
