You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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