i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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