so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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