I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I will be naked everywhere
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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