I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
