cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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