i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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