I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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