Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
