remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
