I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
