Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
