I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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