That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
