nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
