What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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