i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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