Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
