Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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