so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize