The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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