My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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