Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
