i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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