don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
