Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Randomize
