I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize