"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
