i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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