Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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