i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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