I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Randomize
