found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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