i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
