having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
