$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
