i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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