are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
