I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I understand Curling. That high.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize