The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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