Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if only i could text you this smell
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize
