watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize