"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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